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Your bouncing is remarkable. Just because you enjoy aerobic exercise, however, is no reason to neglect anaerobic training as both provide benefits.

“I’ll try to remember that.” I make myself slightly heavier to see if that makes the bouncing any more difficult and bounce much higher than normal.

That was different. How do you control that?

“I just have the idea and kind of figure out the math. The numbers happen on their own, I guess? There I messed with my weight, then had to compensate on the density of the air, which was why the hissing was louder, and… “

Interesting. Your brain must be well trained in math. However, you brain shows it was made within the last year. As though someone made a brand-new old brain, as you have all the connections but none of them show any regular wear and tear, instead just the accretions of plaque, as though they wanted you to be made helpless via dementia.

“The shitty god.” It had to be him.

Perhaps. Certainly, your tale suggested him as an adversary. I agree that you should interview your friends about some things. I would like to hear more about the motives of the one who was called the Warden. Meeting someone with such a title in a prison is suspect. I’m sure you’ve other things you’d like to ask them.

“Absolutely. There’s a few things I think could be explained better.” Why are there players? What does it mean if I am one? Why do I have god-like powers? Why is any of this happening?

You’re still naked under the raincoat.

“Oh yeah.” I make underwear on one bounce, pants on the next, and so on until I am fully dressed in clothes that approximate what Boniface had made for me. None of them are magical, though. I could have included some, though. Why didn’t I make clothes earlier? It seems the extreme forgetfulness I was under also impacted my ability to problem solve.

Are there any other preparations you feel you need to make?

“I should just be talking to them, right?”

With my species, all interactions were undertaken with the assumption they could turn violent. I have noted that is not always the case among primates.

I have a laser wand. And I can drown them all to make them go away if they attack. I hope things don’t come to combat. Especially since they all respawn. Unending attacks by players sounds like a giant pain in the ass.

“I’m probably okay. I have a lot of new spells that were researched while my mind was scrambled.” Some of these gravity spells are just as awful as my fecalmancy. I hadn’t considered doing such things with weight. There’s even a flight spell I can use but bouncing on the air springs is so much fun. This activity gives me joy, and I think I will stick with the thing that makes me happy.

Then I shall take refuge and I caution you against revealing my presence. Tyu sinks down into my shoulder, with his antenna sticking out blending in among my fur where my shoulder meets my neck.

I can see my friends up ahead on my map. They are fighting another boss. They managed to get that much deeper in the time it took us to catch up with them. This boss is an enormous undead goldfish, with unlimited waves of undead parasites that fall off and attack those who do not enter the water. I killed it earlier with one spray of ATP in a deranged state. Podlihob was making a good showing against the fish, firing at it with his crossbow and using his turrets to assist with the waves of parasites while Rhynn gave an extended bellow to attract all the parasites’ attention to himself and away from Podlihob. Alba was casually tossing out rocks and fiddling with an abacus, which caused plumes of lightning to jet out from the ground, slaying most of the parasites that could survive the turret blasts.

I converted the center of the fish to ATP and it began dissolving from the inside. I’m helping!

“Someone else is here. Be on your guard.” Podlihob is maximum monotone.

They slay the final wave of parasites, and they all stand there, scanning the area. I guess it is time to make my dramatic reveal! Finally, I can get back into the regular area of this dungeon, and out of that void.

The bars covering this pipe are more firmly affixed than I thought at first. Swearing under my breath, I extend a little bit of wire from my wand and slice the bars away, causing them to fall into the water below.

“What’s happening, guys?” They look a little less surprised than I was hoping for.

1 Comment

  1. zavyyn

    I look forward to the movie version of the song, where “tribute” is replaced with “reboot”.


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