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Naked in a transparent coat, officer, that’s the pervert troll over there! He’ll probably throw poo at us while he jerks it! Yeah, that seems the most likely response to my outfit.
Life can be kind of tough when you’re naked and kidnapped in a labyrinth dungeon full of the undead. I shouldn’t be so down though; I’m sure other people have it worse. Just because I can’t come up with an example of somebody having it worse off the top of my head doesn’t mean those examples don’t exist!
This coat provides bonus defense against attacks made by intangible or ethereal undead. Hooray, that’s topical to this dungeon; I’m so excited about being dressed like a degenerate.
There’s a big door on the other side of this room. Walking on the grate is a little scary, since it wobbles and bounces some, but I guess it will be okay? I reduce my weight a lot just as a precaution because the bouncing makes me feel queasy. As I cross the room, the grate falls away. Too bad, I was ready to fly anyway! I only drop a few feet while the grate disappears into the darkness.
I float over to the door. It is fun jumping off of lightly compressed air. It feels like I am skipping around on springs!
The door is fake. Great. It’s just a metal sculpture attached to the wall. Now that I am close enough, I can see the wall behind. This leaves me with just a few options. I can go down, but I don’t really like that plan, because the room is designed to force me to go down there. I bet there is more nasty stuff down there to deal with. I really want that to be my last resort. I can backtrack, but I don’t really like that idea either. This is a boss room, so I feel like I was going the right way to wind up here.
My last option is to go up. I do like that idea. The boss was up there, so maybe there’s another level up there. Time to bounce up there like a certain stuffed tiger! What was his name? Digger? Something like that.
I skip up the shaft, springing with a couple of lights bouncing up with me. The shaft is a rusty metal color, and sometimes there is a hole covered with chain-link fencing. I peer through those holes and consider cutting them open and exploring that way, but I’d really like to see if this shaft has a proper exit. Maybe that ectoplasm boss was just floating around, but I figure there must be a platform somewhere up here.
I continue to bounce up, and cheerfully whistle as I go. Even though this place is a horrible, undead-laden dungeon and I’ve been kidnapped and am basically naked with my magic for escape sealed off, I just can’t help but enjoy skipping on air. This is the best way to fly.
I’ve been doing this for long enough now though that I am starting to get a stiff neck from looking up. I create a small chair out of the side of the wall and sit down to relax and massage my neck.
I close my eyes and roll my head around on my neck to stretch it out, first one way, then the other. Letting my head hang forward, I idly let one of my light globes drift back down. Oh my. There’s the grate that previously fell, and the door I came in through. I’ve been going up for a while, yet I seem to hardly have gone up at all. Everything down there is back to the way it was before I came into the room. I probably don’t have to worry about that boss for a while, but who knows when it might pop back up.
This room is stupid. In fact, this entire dungeon is bullshit. I am angry at this stupid dungeon. I don’t know where I am, I’m dressed like a pervert, I soiled myself, and I have committed unspeakable atrocities against some of my kidnappers. Today is not a good day.
I cut a hole in the grating with a laser and jump out into the void above a tunnel. I follow the tunnel from above to see where it leads.