07 Zavyyn discovers he enjoys sleeping

by Jan 25, 2021Best Seller, Curse and Cantrip, Fantasy Fiction, GameLit, LitRPG, Top Rated, World of Systems1 comment

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I never want to be woken up like this again. Moso has me torn between remaining asleep and attending to the biology of my body. Such a choice remands the heavenly countenance of my bedchamber to a more pernicious lot, that of Purgatory, with Heavenly Bliss something one can only contemplate.

“Get out of bed already, man! You’ve been in there long enough for the dead to get back up! This food is getting cold.”

Moso, I swear I needed that blanket more than anything. Reality will come tumbling down if I am not given that blanket back this instant!

“What’s breakfast?” is what actually comes out of my mouth.

“Grits and grillades.”

Grillades? Isn’t that a Cajun dish? But Moso definitely sounds more like a hippie than a Cajun… Well, whatever, he’ll tell me about himself if he wants to later.

The breakfast is amazing, and Moso leads me to a barrel of hot water for me to bathe. This place, despite being some magic hippie’s bamboo pavilion, has a surprisingly modern feel to it. If he told me there was a television somewhere, I would believe it. The barrel is a large metal drum, and his water pump is metal, and clean. If this is so nice, why is it outside? Does he keep it clean by leaving it outside? The house is situated in a large tree full of dark pink flowers, and I understand that plumbing up a living tree might be difficult.

With a look at my skills tab search field, I immediately find Arboreal Architecture, along with knowledge of a flexible super-metal that can change shape with the tree as it grows. Oh, it has been a minute in the tub, I should probably finish up. Moso is busy messing with fishing gear when I get to his porch.

“We need to get you a map from the village. The mayor has a couple of atlases, and we might be able to help them with a certain problem that would get him to give us one.”

That really updated my journal. But I feel like the kind who messes around looking for side-quests. Like, there’s always time to smell the roses and enjoy the little details, so I shouldn’t rush the main quest.

“Is there anything else around here that’s interesting? I am sure a swamp like this has plenty of adventure!”

“There’s a big dragon that I try to keep away from the village which is why they let me live out here.”

Oh shit. Did I just ruin things for this guy? Is he going to get kicked out of here because I had to be King DragonSlayer?

“Um, theoretically, what would happen if that dragon died?”

“People in the village would think I was doing a great job keeping it away. As long as nobody told them, and nothing showed up.”

“Well that’s good to hear.”

“Not like anybody could kill old Rot-tooth anyway. That thing’s older than the swamp. As long as it keeps getting these pigs it shouldn’t ravage toward the village.”

“About that, maybe you could try not giving it the pigs and see if it ravages. Maybe you have less to do now? Like maybe I just found a dead dragon and I think maybe it was that thing.”

I am so sorry, please change my name to Maybe.

“Can you prove that?”

Oh my, Moso, you are so intense.

“Here’s this dagger.”

The dagger is a blackened tooth, and he called it Rot-tooth, after all.

“That’s his tooth, alright. And you already turned it into a magic dagger in a swamp, without a magic lab or anything. Cool abilities.”

“I’ve been practicing. I’m just a little good at crafting.”

My crafting skills are a mile long, all maxed out, and includes such gems as Costume Design (Clown). I got the dagger from my loot function anyway, but I feel good enough in my skills to pull off crafting in any medium.

“Far out.”

Yeah it is. This dagger has incredible powers of halitosis. I should put it away.

“So, when should we go?”

“We just need to make some food to go for lunch and dinner. We should be there by sundown, but we might want to eat as we get there.”

Moso, your focus on eating is a delight, as I feel like I could eat constantly. Is this from all the cantrips?

“We can eat as we walk? What are we eating?”


Wait, what? That was gumbo and rice, does he have a thermos or something?

And then, it turned out he did. He also had a boat with an outboard motor that runs on magic. We weren’t walking. I feel like a ninny.

1 Comment

  1. zavyyn

    This is my favorite song to use as a waking alarm.


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