05 Zavyyn discovers an error in his status

by Jan 25, 2021Best Seller, Curse and Cantrip, Fantasy Fiction, GameLit, LitRPG, Top Rated, World of Systems1 comment

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Looking down at the murky water, I barely make out a face that looks simian. Moso says I am a troll, and I kind of look like a small ape. I guess apes are trolls here? I must be sure to break the mold by not leaving nasty comments on message boards. At least, I would rather think about that than consider my odds with the ladies, since I doubt many women are aroused by a chimpanzee. Maybe I can learn some shape-changing magic down the line and become a more socially and romantically acceptable form?

“So were you always a troll, or did you get cursed or something?”

Thank you Moso for giving me a hope! A curse, obviously, that shitty god cursed me and my original form is a gnome. I don’t know why my status window didn’t say anything about it, but with divine hacks anything is possible.

“Maybe? My memory prior to landing in this swamp is somewhat muddled. I am not entirely sure what happened before I showed up here.”

I might want to hold back on letting people know I killed a dragon, since I don’t know how they might respond to that. Dragons are important, and folks who kill them tend to also be important. And I should check on the rights of a person about being an ape or troll. Are monster tamers going to come after me?

“Bummer. Well, if you need a place to crash, my grove isn’t too far. You can get dinner and regroup your thoughts. If you got some bad magic on you, we need to figure out your best route to some wizards who might be able to help analyze your curse.”

Moso, you are my paragon of hope and I love you for keeping me positive.

“There’s a kingdom to the north that embraces the idea that all races are welcome and equal, you might have some luck there. I’ve heard they have a big magical university and a huge library. You should get out of this area, though. The Sidhe would enslave you in a heartbeat. Well, they would try.”

Sidhe? That has a weird sound, and then my brain shoves out the correct spelling. Well, you may be an amnesiac pile of garbage for a brain, but you are helping me with spelling obscure names, brain, keep up the good work!

“How do they enslave people? I could run away pretty easily.”

I can climb trees and kill dogs and people just the same as dragons. I could probably set up some routes to fall back along while spreading toxic gas on the fly.

“They mess with your head and make you think they’re gods. I hear they learned it from some squid people, which isn’t where I would go for knowledge. They also make enchanted items that do bad things to people. One of their plantation princes has been sniffing around here recently for some tail in town.”

“And the people in town are not the Sidhe?”

“Nah, they’re swamp elves, like me on my daddy’s side.” Moso strikes a pose, with a thumb cocked back at his face.

“And I am orc on my mama’s side, so I am taboo to the Sidhe. They can take me for a slave or kill me for fun and every single one would say I had it coming. Fuck Sidhe.”

“They sound awful. What’s the best way to deal with them?”

If I can climb a tree and throw magic at them, maybe I will be okay? Or perhaps they are weak to pure-hearted wizards with a twinkle in their eye?

“Ambush and traps, but they know that and learn divination to warn themselves of danger.”

That does not seem reassuring, that they try to cover their weakness. I guess that means I just need to always take the initiative in my encounters with them! Finding out how reasonable that is shall be a joy.

“Lets go back to my place and talk about them some more.”

That sounds like a wonderful plan Moso, thank you very much.

I am not going to be enslaved to amuse some jerk god.

1 Comment

  1. zavyyn

    haha monke


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